


as the years pass, i await you

by petcheetah



Series: in want of alexander lightwood [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Reincarnation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-03
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2020-01-04 06:08:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18337724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/petcheetah/pseuds/petcheetah
Summary: Years pass, but they will forever think of each other.One mourns,The other waits.





	as the years pass, i await you

He expected fire. He expected pain, and suffering, and sorrow and horror. He expected demons, ready to enact their revenge. Instead, all he got was a white room, and a small girl staring at him from behind a desk. She looked annoyed. Angry, really. She looked as if she was moments away from tearing him apart.

She was almost as terrifying as the thought of demons torturing him for all eternity was. He could almost _feel_ the power that came from her. She looked like a little girl, but he knew better than to believe appearances. Especially when it felt like he has met her before, once, in another life.

He watched as she raised an eyebrow.

“That’s exactly where you met me.”

He startled, but years and years of training had him remaining still. The girls lips curled up, and she stood up from where she sat, walking over to him with hundreds of years of practiced ease. He couldn’t help but unconsciously tilt his head in confusion.

“Your past life,” she clarified, giving him the information easily, “You have been here before. So many times, dear Alexander Lightwood. Too many times. Over and over i’ve brought you back, but you always return far too soon. Mundane, werewolf, vampire, Shadowhunter. They never last long, do they? No matter.”

She stepped closer to him, pointing a single finger at him that she moved up his chest with a thoughtful hum. He couldn’t move. What was she saying…?

“That you just keep on reincarnating, dear boy. Over and over again. You’re stubborn, i’ll give you that. That is why I accepted your deal all those millennium ago, and you accepted mine. Now, sit. We need to talk.”

Alec basically stumbled as she moved her finger away, and he collapsed backwards into a chair he knew hadn’t been there moments before.

 

They were white, as was tradition. Magnus’ suit was lined with the smallest amount of blue. It was all the colour he could allow himself. At his side stood Isabelle, and at her side was Jace, and then Clary. Maryse was standing on Magnus’ other side, unable to look up at anyone. If Magnus was anything less than Alexander’s boyfriend and the High Warlock of Brooklyn, he would be doing the same, but he wouldn’t dare. Not for Alexander, never for him.

He wouldn’t not look away.

“Those remaining will take their place at the side of the fallen.”

Magnus didn’t move, but Isabelle grabbed hold of his hand and pulled him forwards. Alec and Maryse followed behind them.

“Those remaining will say the name of the fallen.”

Isabelle’s voice was strong, but Magnus knew better, “Alec Lightwood. My brother.”

Jace’s voice cracked. His hand was where his parabatai rune had once been. Magnus couldn’t imagine the pain he was in, the loss he was feeling.

“Alec Lightwood. My parabatai, my brother.”

Maryse ran her hand down where Alec’s arm was beneath the sheet.

“Alec Lightwood. My… my son.” Tears fell down her face and landed on the floor silently.

Magnus swallowed. Isabelle gripped his hand just that much tighter. Magnus felt like he couldn’t breathe.

Everyone turned to him.

He wanted to cry. He wanted to scream. He wanted Alexander _back_.

“Alexander Lightwood,” he basically whispered, “My heart and soul. My love. My…”

He looked up and saw tears in nearly all of Alec’s families eyes.

He couldn’t do this. His jacket pocket felt too heavy.

“I’m sorry.”

No one had the heart to go after the Warlock as he ran out of the room.

 

Alec was frozen in place. The girl stared at him with knowing eyes, a slight smirk on her face. What she told him seemed impossible, it _should be_ impossible, but he could feel it now. _See_ it now. The girl reached forwards and ran a hand through his hair. He swallowed.

Images passed through his mind much too fast, but that didn’t seem to matter. They were _his_ memories, but that didn’t seem right. It confused him. It was overwhelming and wrong and it didn’t make sense.

But it did.

He remained frozen in place even as she moved away from him once more, trying to filter through the multitude of memories she had passed onto him.

“Are you willing to keep your promise, Alexander Lightwood?”

Alec’s eyes glinted. There was a knowing look in his eyes that hadn’t been there previously. It made his bright blue eyes glow even more than before.

“Always, my Lord.”

 

Too much time had passed. Magnus had not removed the white suit he was wearing, unwilling, or, more accurately, unable to part with any connection he had to Alexander. He hadn’t left his apartment in at least two weeks. His friends had tried, over and over again, to get him to leave and go out but he was oh so tired. Too absorbed in his grief to do anything other than lie in bed and mourn for a life that was gone far too soon.

It wasn’t _right._ Of all people, Alec should have been the last to die. He deserved to live a happy, long life. He deserved to be there as Downworlders and Shadowhunters stopped their hatred— as much as two different species could. He deserved to be here, not burnt and gone and never coming back.

It was Jace that found him standing on the edge of a bridge, looking out, still wearing the same white suit, holding a picture of Alec.

 

Alec sat cross legged on the floor of a completely white room. Across him sat who looked like a little girl, but was in fact a being of more knowledge than anyone would ever be able to comprehend. Between them was a puzzle board, only a few pieces away from being finished.

With a decisive hum, the girl reached forwards and added a piece to the puzzle. Alec followed suit, and with two more movements the puzzle was complete.

He stood.

The girl followed him up. She held a hand out, it glowed golden.

“Until next time, my dear Light?” She asked, already knowing his answer.

“Until next time, my Lord.” Alec grabbed hold of her hand and brought it to his lips. His eyes closed for a moment, and then everything flashed gold.

And then he was once again swimming in darkness.

 

Magnus spent months, years, grieving, the longest he had every mourned for anyone. He spent his time missing the presence of Alexander Lightwood and he spent far too much of his time around the New York Institute to try and keep as much of Alec in sight as possible. But as years passed so did the Institute. Alec’s decisions were not forgotten and it was impossible to walk through the building without walking past a Downworlder or ten. It made him as proud as it made his heart hurt that Alexander was not there to see it.

He became closer with the Lightwoods, sharing their pain. He watched as Jace and Clary got married, watched as they had and began to raise their first child, then their second. He watched as Simon and Izzy found their home in one another and he knew that Alec would have been so, so happy for his siblings and his friends. Izzy named her first child Alex.

Magnus couldn’t find it in himself to start dating again. The thought of doing so made his soul hurt. It felt like if he did so he would be betraying Alexander, and he did not want to do that. He could never do that.

Years passed by in the blink of an eye, as it had before he had met the beautiful Shadowhunter that captured his heart. Maryse was grayed, unable to go on missions any longer. Jace and Clary’s children were starting high school, Izzy and Simon’s were starting elementary. Magnus stayed the same. He always stayed the same.

Madzie grew up. She was a beautiful, powerful Warlock. But she acted strange at times, her mind drifting then coming back and then saying the most strange of things. She was a constant he knew he could trust, as was Catarina who stood by his side through it all.

It was 18 years after Alexander’s death that Magnus learnt of the presence of a new Warlock within New York. As High Warlock of Brooklyn, he was tasked with deciding whether this new Downworlder would be a threat or not to the current peace occurring between the magical and the non-magical.

 

Too many years had passed, but it was still less than what had passed him by in that white room. His memories remained with him, a difference to what he was used to with these cycles.

He came to awareness with far too much ease, and could instantly feel the magic that coursed through his veins.

 

When Magnus stood in front of the door of the new Warlock, he knocked. Less than a minute passed before the door swung open, but no one stood behind it. It was not unusual to see, especially when it was a Warlock living there.

The first thing Magnus saw of the Warlock was the back of his head. Unfamiliar, as should be expected.

 

Then he turned around, and Magnus was met with a pair of familiar blue eyes.

Eyes burning, filled with magic.

 


End file.
